i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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