Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
