So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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