just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
