Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
