i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
