Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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