it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
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I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
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I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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