I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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