Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
