You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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