So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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