I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I am mentally ready for anal.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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