At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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