I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
