I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
