I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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