She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
