i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize