How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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