I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
