I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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