My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
