talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
