He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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