i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
