Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
