yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
