Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
