I think im going to throw up on grandma
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
