I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
