Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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