I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
