you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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