Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
