Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
