I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
