butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize