Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
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ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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