I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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