you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We are two peas in an std pod
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
