Soap is not a condiment
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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