i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
