Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Boobs are out for the taking
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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