Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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