i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
