Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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