Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
