So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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