perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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