Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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