She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Farmville is her only friend.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
