I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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