I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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