I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
