I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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