Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
