i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
