Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
don't judge my taste in strippers
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize